Today's recommendation of JOY: Double Mint Edition

So I know we are in a recession and we all need to cut corners and glamorous little cookies are going to be the first to go but OMG Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Mint Milanos are AMAZING. They are about as close to Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies as you can get without actually interacting with girl scouts.
SPECIAL BONUS RECOMMENDATION:
The french movie "Tell No One." The premise of the movie is that a man's wife is killed and then eight years later he gets an email that might be from her. To say anymore would be to spoil the twists which is 90% of the fun of the movie. It had been recommended to me as "the best movie I have ever seen" which is a set up for disappointment. The fact that I still was head over heals in love with it, even with heightened expectations is a testament to its greatness. It is also the best acted movie I have ever seen. The entire ensemble just inhabits their characters completely. There is one scene in which a woman doesn't have a single line, and yet, because she is acting so well, and because the writing has done such a great job of setting it up, we know this woman's entire story. The vibe reminds me a lot of "Cache" in that everything just feels real and lived in. And because it is so real, the moments of brief gore and terror are so much more effective. I watched it with Asher and apparently I was squirming all over the place, covering my eyes, gasping, etc. I was completely entranced the entire time.

Other people saying goodbye to Crumley

From the NYTimes:

If Mr. Chandler and Hunter S. Thompson had collaborated to produce a literary offspring, Mr. Crumley would unquestionably have been the result. In just seven private eye novels he carved out a genre that might properly be called gonzo gumshoe, set mostly in the back alleys, seedy bars and wild, forbidding countryside of Montana.

Roger:
James Crumley didn’t give a hoot what people thought about how he lived his life and he didn’t judge anyone on how they lived theirs, unless they were cruel, small spirited or high and mighty. He wasn’t really fond of sloppy drunks, academics or the very wealthy, but he cut them all a lot of slack.

He was more genuinely interested in listening to people than anyone I’ve ever known. I’m supposed to do that because I write people talking for a living; Jim gently showed me how bad I was at listening, and casually and constantly reminded me that nothing is more important.

From the Independent Article:
In an article that appeared in the Independent Sept. 26, 2006, Crumley wrote of his friend: “It’s no secret that Mr. Kittredge and I, during our misspent youths, spread disorder and various sorrows across several Western states, but we always paid our bar tabs and tipped like gentleman."

RANT (in list form!)

I try really hard to be a calm, peaceful person. You know: cool, collected, takes everything with a grain of salt, doesn’t rise to anger.
Obviously, I fail.
And today is one of those days in which I am failing more than usual. And so a list!
The top 5 things that are blinding me with rage on this rainy Friday:

5. The New Yorker article on Lenora Hemsley giving her dog 10 million dollars. What. The. Fuck. Did you know that America donates 2.5 times more money to Animal shelters than to organizations that help abused women? I love puppies and kittens but this woman had a sentence in the charter for her trust to help children and she TOOK IT OUT in favor of helping dogs. This is in addition to the obscene amount she left her little dog. Doesn't she know Animals are meant for eating? I mean, I don’t really like people either but her whole point seemed to be rubbing the fact that she cut her grandkids out of her will in their faces. I’d call her a bitch but I think that’s getting too pun like.
4. Sarah Palin. I am no longer amused. I no longer have western pride that she can field dress a moose. I am so angry. At the fact that she can’t answer questions. At the fact that she described meeting with foreign leaders as “fun.” She is bad for women. She is coming off as stupid and cowardly and the McCain camps sheltering of her is – pardon the s word – SEXIST. SHE IS NOT A LITTLE DOLL. SHE CAN ANSWER QUESTIONS. AAAAAAAAAAAGH!
3 . The Economy. Okay, so I have no idea what is going on and I recognize that since I am not planning on buying property in the next few years it doesn’t really affect me but jesus, someone figure it out. PLEASE. In issues that I don’t understand I tend to trust the economist and they said that the $700 billion plan that fell apart last night was probably the best possible plan. And now it fell apart. God damn it.
2. The SEC chairman. There are three people who are in control of the economy – the fed chairman, the cabinet secretary and the SEC chairman. And we’re only hearing about two of them. This American Life had a report about how the SEC chairman has missed all these important meetings to go to birthday parties and the like. It made me SO ANGRY. And usually This American Life just makes me cry cathartically. So I was double angry at being made angry by This American Life.
1. John McCain. Waaay back when it looked like Huckabee had a chance of taking the primary I said that I would be okay with a president McCain. “He’s a moderate,” I said, “And even if I disagree with him I will know where he is coming from.” I TAKE IT ALL BACK. Apparently McCain thinks the definition of “Maverick” is making decisions with out thinking about the consequences. From Sarah Palin to canceling the debate he just seems to do things. Baaaaad things. And now he went back to Washington to try to “help” with a situation that he has no expertise in and managed to FUCK. IT. ALL. UP. (okay, I recognize that there were a lot of factors at play but I am going to blame him right now because I feel like it.) Please god, if he wins don’t let him bomb Russia. Because at this point I think he would.

I want to be Helena Bonham Carter when I grow up.

Will you be my Tim Burton?

I wish I supported Sarah Palin

Because this would totally be my computer background.
LOL.
Pity. The gleeful fascination has worn off and now I am just angry and afraid. Though still a little gleefully fascinated.

Roommate conversations:

Tom: I just don’t understand. We are so in debt. Where is $700 Billion dollars coming from? They are bailing out companies that were faking money with fake money. I don’t understand!!!!
Me: I’m sure someone we went to college with took economics and can explain it to us.
Jesse: Hey guys. We can order Pizza from our TV!

Hate is such a strong word...

I get mistaken for a vegetarian a lot. I don’t know why. For some reason I give off a veggie vibe. Which is weird because I don’t think I know a single person (outside of my family) who eats as much meat as me. I tried to be a vegetarian in middle school, not because I particularly care about animals, but because the meat industry in this country is disgusting and unsustainable. I ended up eating tuna with every meal and by the end of my four month experiment I was craving meat so badly it was all I could think about. So ultimately I just accepted that my body needs meat and decided to enjoy it.
Also, its weird that people think I am a vegetarian because I hate PETA with every fiber of my being.
In theory I support PETA (see above statement re: meat industry – disgusting.) but in practice their methods just seem intent on alienating any possible ally they could have. Feminists. Jews. Ben and Jerry Lovers.
Yes that’s right, PETA is going after Ben and Jerrys.

“People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.”

Yep. Apparently they don’t have anything better to do with their time.

My life is finally starting to calm down...

Movies I want to see:

A girl cut in two
Traitor
Burn after reading
Vicky Christinina Barcelona
Sukiyaki Western Django
Hamlet 2
Tell no one

Plays I want to see:
Boeing-boeing
Beast
Three Changes
The Seagull
Equus

...and the girl who serves your food is slender and her red hair lights the wall.

Jim Crumley died on Wednesday.
I’ve been talking about him a lot lately because I recently finished this novel “The Last Good Kiss” which is amazing. I was going to do a write up of it here (and how its structure totally screwed with my mind) but never got around to it. Shit.
Crumley was a fantastic writer but he was also a person who has been in my life for the past 8 years. I wouldn’t say we were friends, barely even acquaintances, but he was around and a presence. He was always funny, always kind. He left an impression on people and I often found myself in bars talking about him. "Oh that Crumley..." He appeared gruff but he was gentle too. He was dearly dearly loved by two of my close friends. And most of all, he was a hell of a writer. He is someone it is hard to imagine Missoula without. It is hard to imagine mystery writing without. There is an emptiness where he should be.
The title of his best novel comes from one of my favorite poems of all time Richard Hugo’s “Degrees of Gray in Phillipsburg.” Which I will print here as a memorial. Its just right.

You might come here Sunday on a whim.
Say your life broke down. The last good kiss
you had was years ago. You walk these streets
laid out by the insane, past hotels
that didn't last, bars that did, the tortured try
of local drivers to accelerate their lives.
Only churches are kept up. The jail
turned 70 this year. The only prisoner
is always in, not knowing what he's done.

The principal supporting business now
is rage. Hatred of the various grays
the mountain sends, hatred of the mill,
The Silver Bill repeal, the best liked girls
who leave each year for Butte. One good
restaurant and bars can't wipe the boredom out.
The 1907 boom, eight going silver mines,
a dance floor built on springs--
all memory resolves itself in gaze,
in panoramic green you know the cattle eat
or two stacks high above the town,
two dead kilns, the huge mill in collapse
for fifty years that won't fall finally down.

Isn't this your life? That ancient kiss
still burning out your eyes? Isn't this defeat
so accurate, the church bell simply seems
a pure announcement: ring and no one comes?
Don't empty houses ring? Are magnesium
and scorn sufficient to support a town,
not just Philipsburg, but towns
of towering blondes, good jazz and booze
the world will never let you have
until the town you came from dies inside?

Say no to yourself. The old man, twenty
when the jail was built, still laughs
although his lips collapse. Someday soon,
he says, I'll go to sleep and not wake up.
You tell him no. You're talking to yourself.
The car that brought you here still runs.
The money you buy lunch with,
no matter where it's mined, is silver
and the girl who serves your food
is slender and her red hair lights the wall.

I think this is so awesome:

“Tony Kushner, the award-winning playwright who has spent much of his time in recent years writing Hollywood scripts, is the first recipient of a newly created $200,000 prize for playwriting, by far the largest theater award in the nation, and one of the biggest cash awards in any of the arts.”

The Steinbergs are awesome. First of all they fund one of the better classes at DDW and now they’re funding playwrights directly! While their first pick is pretty safe, what excites me even more is that they plan on giving two $50,000 prizes every two years to writers who are just starting out. Which is more money than I will make all year at my full time job.
Putting aside the selfish fact that I would love to get that prize myself I think it is amazing that every two years two young playwrights will have the financial solvency to take a year off work and just focus on writing. Because the biggest barrier to being a writer (for me as well as others) is not having the time and not even being sure if it is financially worth it in the long run to stay in the theatre. I don’t blame any playwright for jumping ship to film and TV but this prize might help bring some of them back, starting with Tony Kushner. I think these prizes will only bring good things to American theatre.

(Side note: I love Tony's smile in that nytimes photo. That is the smile of man who just won $200,000)

14 Things That Irritated Me About The Pilot of Fringe

The weirdo symbols that we cut to right before every commercial break
Dharma initiative anyone?

That the scientist character is crazy.

That the insane asylum scene included both screaming sound fx and maniacal laughter sound fx in the background.

That someone okayed the line “You just don’t like me because I used to be the Marine special prosecutor and I put your friend away for rape.”

That the virus is a direct rip off of the X-files movie virus.
With the translucent skin, and the stickness, and the needing to be kept cold to slow the virus’ gestation.

The over dramatic music.
Just because the music is scared doesn’t mean I am.

That they did nothing with the cow.

That someone okayed the line “How is the doctor?” “He’s completely nuts. He’s also my only hope.”

The intrusiveness of the titles.
I shouldn’t be talking about the titles.

The unnecessaryness of the Baghdad scene.
Aside from the fact that we need to know that Joshua Jackson’s character speaks Farsi?

That a character as “smart” as Joshua Jackson would be so easily manipulated.

That the science has no apparent tie to reality.
Talking to the dead, anyone?

That the Kyle MacLaughlin-look alike being a twin is a complete cop out.

That the plot doesn’t make any sense emotionally or logically.
Its just being convoluted for the sake of being convoluted. I know that describes Lost but Lost is genuinely scary at times and the characters are compelling and well drawn from day one. Here its like they just strung together a series of traits –he has gambling debts and hates his father, she has trouble saying I love you etc – in replacement of character. I know its not fair to judge a show by its pilot. Some of my favorite shows took a while to get on their feet (30 Rock, American Office). But still this is JJ fucking Abrams we are talking about. The pilot of Lost is TV genus. This is just shit.

I think it is a tribute to David Foster Wallace's genius that no one who has taken the time to read him feels indifferent about his death. I love Hemingway but I could understand feeling meh about him. But DFW inspires such passion, either loathing or love. To quote my father:

"The disturbing thing to me is that I saw/see him as a really life-affirming author with whom I share a number of important interests (Wittgenstein, drugs, county fairs, and even lobsters). His description of his female companion's being shaken upside down on some illinois fair ride by a lecherous carny is one of the funniest (and, I think, full of life) things I have ever read."

And to quote the AVclub:

"His specialty, to me, was always the seriousness with which he surveyed those little private moments that engender shame, that special kind of embarrassment-before-self that makes us wither and recoil when we're left alone in churning judgment of ourselves and all the ways we flounder in the world. Maybe it was always darker than I knew, but I've always read him in those moments as possessed by a special kind of glee. He was so good at it, so piercing and poignant, that I assumed Wallace must thrill over his own work as much as those of us who lapped it up so electrically. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't."

I know I already wrote about him but I just keep crying about it. Which is inexplicable. But still it happens.

Must Read:

This sunday's New York Times article about Sarah Palin. It gives a good idea of what the country will be like if she runs it. That woman is terrifying.

On the off chance that you haven't seen it already:

RIP

My friend Theresa got very depressed when Norman Mailer died and I have to admit I didn't really get it. He's just a writer, I thought, his work is already published, whats the big deal.
I totally get it now.
David Foster Wallace died this weekend at the age of 46 and the world is a worse place without him. He was one of the most talented, intelligent and ambitious writers of our age. He always wrote knowingly about the world's pain but his writing never gave the impression of one who was overwhelmed. I think the reason why I am so sad is that his work had such a humor, such an amusement at life, that if he couldn't handle this world, who can?
His writing is so much smarter than me that reading him made me feel like a better person for having shared the journey. He's not everyone's cup of tea but no one can deny that he was genius.
In Neil Gaiman's sandman books there is a library in the realm of dreams that stores all the books never written. I would like to visit that library some day and read all the books Foster Wallace never got the chance to write.

This weeks recomendation of JOY is:

Bollywood film "Om Shanti Om."
"Om Shanti Om" is like "Hamlet" crossed with "Singing in the Rain" with reincarnation, set in Bollywood in the 70’s and today.
And yes it is just as great as it sounds.

That song might sound familiar to you "So You Think You Can Dance" watchers.

Yet more evidence that So You Think You Can Dance is the awesomest thing ever.

It's almost as though they're disappointed.

So I sent out a text message saying essentially YAY the swiss didn't destroy the world. And I got back the following:
From my dad: "Just talking about that in class. According to Rossler it could take a month 2 expand & swallow us!"
From my brother: "Yeah I saw! They haven't done the big experiments yet though so there's still a chance"
From Asher: "ive read it could take up to 50 months, which would mean the mayans are wrong about 2012. and james cameron was way off with skynet."

OH MY GAWD GUYS! Just be happy we live to breath another day! The swiss will find a way to destroy the universe yet, don't you worry.

Yes I Watched it.

And I am not ashamed.
But the official verdict is that High School Musical 2 (Aka 2 Chaste 2 Serious) is not nearly as good as High School Musical 1 (aka the whole not kissing thing kinda makes sense because none of the characters have started dating yet). Yes it picks up in its last 45 minutes with an awesome baseball dance sequence but before that there is waaay too much talking. Dear Disney, I do not watch High School Musical for the convoluted plotting, I watch it for the perky perky dance numbers. Which are, ehem, legitimately good. Hopefully they will step up their game for High School Musical 3 (maybe this time the characters will make out? Or come out?).
And yes I do plan on seeing it.

It's taken Apple close to 5 years...

But they now have a purple Ipod.

I want it. I want it now!

I need some help

So an old friend of the family sent me an email but I think I could use some help answering it:
Hi Larke,
“Uncle” Rick here. David and I were talking about movies worth watching. (You and he turned me on to The Departed last year – great flick!)

Any chance you would recommend a handful to me? I am contemplating a Blu Ray player so action, panoramas, “guy movies,” anything worth enjoying in 1080p are all potentials. I found Pulp Fiction unpleasant, but loved American Werewolf in London. I own all the Lethal Weapons, Bourne Identities, Dirty Harrys and Die Hards, as well as Director’s cuts of E.T., Terminator 2, and the Lord of the Rings series.

Thanks,

Rick

***

Below is my response:

Hey Rick,
I essentially just looked at my netflix history for the past three years and pulled stuff off of it that I really enjoyed and think you would too. Some of these are pretty mainstream and you might have seen already. Some are not.
Because you enjoyed the Departed so much you might be interested in checking out the Hong Kong movie it is based on. It’s called Infernal Affairs and is readily available. Its great in a slightly different way than Departed and fascinating to watch them both.
And now a list:
Memories of Murder and the Host – two Korean movies, one about serial killings and the other about a monster terrorizing Seoul. Both beautiful to watch, and really awesome plotwise.
The Devils Backbone - awesome ghost story from the director of Pans Labyrinth
Donnie Brasco - Mob movie from the late 90s with Johny Depp and Al Pacino. Im not really a fan of mob movies but this one is quite good.
Gone baby gone - a kidnapping drama from last year that got completely ignored at award time which I don't understand at all. Its incredibly tense and morally ambiguous.
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - I love this movie. I think it is gorgeously shot and subtly scary. My mom thinks it is the most boring thing she has ever seen in her life. Take that for what you will.
Michael Clayton - fantastic legal thriller from last year.
3:10 to Yuma - Western from last year. I bet it would look gorgeous in bluray.
Nightwatch - completely bizarre Russian scifi craziness. If you don't like weird, avoid this one. If you do... well its a gem. Unfortunately its sequel Daywatch is incomprehensible.
Breach - political thriller from last year. Again I don't know what this was ignored at awards time.
Zodiac - the pinnacle of serial killer movies. I dont think they will get any better.
City of God - AHmazing Brazilian movie about gang wars. Absolutely beautiful and fascinating. Probs my favorite of all the movies on this list.
Layer Cake - British mob thriller with Daniel Craig. Just a lot of fun.
Snatch - British mob thriller a la layer cake. Fun and what not.
Out of Sight - thriller from the mid 90s with Jenifer Lopez and George Cloony. Okay, i know, that makes it sound gross but it is a lot of fun and very sweet and swear JLo is actually good in it.
Idiocracy - deeply flawed but very funny movie about a future in which all the smart people have died out and the world is inhabited by idiots. An average man from our time who has been cryogenically frozen wakes up and discovers he could rule the world.
Brick - a nior mystery set in a southern California high school.
Rounders - fun poker movie.

***
I feel that certain people who read this blog (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) might actually have tastes closer to Rick's than mine. So please, boys and girls, leave your recommendations in the comments.

uuuuuhhhh.....?

So apparently they made a "The Fast and the furious 4." But they titled it "Fast and Furious." As in, the just took out the "the" from the original title. At first I thought that they were rereleasing "The Fast and the Furious 1" in theaters. You know, like they did with "Apocalypse Now." But no. Its a "New Model, Old Parts." (Which, granted I know nothing about cars, but isn't that, like, a bad thing?)

Really I think that removing the "the" is all they did. I bet they just edited together left over footage from the first movie. Which I have foggy memories of, at best. Mostly I just remember being shocked that I was so bored by car chases.
Which makes me sad because I have a warm spot in my heart for Vin Disel and I really wish that he would stop making such sucky career choices (Fast and Furious 4, Vin, Really? There is nothing else?) and do something INSANE like The Rock in Southland Tales.

Dear Vin Disel,
Put yourself in Richard E Kelly's nutso nutso hands.
Love,
Larke

I KNOW WHO SARAH PALIN LOOKS LIKE!

I'm just saying this:
looks a lot like this:

Notice how I even found a picture of Laura Roslin with McCain-bot Saul Tigh.
Am I saying all brunettes with glasses look exactly the same?
Yes, yes I am.

A duo to be scared of.

"Let me be a clear as possible: I have said before and I will repeat again, I think people's families are off limits, and people's children are especially off limits. This shouldn't be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin's performance as governor, or her potential performance as a vice president.

"And so I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories. You know my mother had me when she was 18, and how a family deals with issues and, you know, teenage children, that shouldn't be the topic of our politics and I hope that anybody who is supporting me understands that's off limits."
--Barack Obama

I think Megan might be my favorite Jezebel

And not just because she is the only one posting on Labor Day.
Megan Carpenter over at Jezebel has a great one-two punch about the treatment of Sarah Palin by the liberal media. This morning she posted about the liberal blogospheres glee at the rumors that Trig Palin was actually Bristol's child.

"And when liberals and progressives pounce on rumors like this one about Trig's "true" parentage — whether or not it is true, which I'm pretty sure it's not — or rumors about Republican politicians' sexuality (in the absence of crimes committed) we are conceding that conservatives are right, and personal choices do qualify or disqualify one for certain aspects of participation in public life and this democracy. We are accepting their terms, their definitions of appropriate private behavior, and attempting to use those definitions to defeat their candidates. And once we do that, even if we do "take down" Sarah Palin or whatever Republican candidate in order to protect gay rights or reproductive rights or educational rights, then we've lost on those issues anyway because we've conceded that the underpinnings to the Republican positions on those issues is valid."

And then this afternoon, when it came out that 17 year old Bristol is five months pregnant she wrote:

"there's no evidence that I can find that she yanked Bristol out of sex ed classes or denied her contraceptive education. To make a 17-year-old girl who didn't likely choose either to be pregnant or to be some political football the new poster child for attacking her mother's policy positions doesn't leave any better a taste in my mouth this afternoon than I had this morning...
Yes, we need to have a rational conversation in this country about striking the balance between providing students with age-appropriate sex education and a rational discussion about moral values and their role in making sexual choices. I am a full and complete supporter of comprehensive sex ed — which includes information like "there is no such thing as blue balls" and "no means no" and "saying no to sex can be a sign of respect for both of you." But clapping our hands in joyous rubbernecking over Bristol Palin's being in the family way is not going to be the start of any discussion. It makes us look as judge-y as we accuse Them of being, it makes us look like abortion-promoters instead of choice-respecters (it does mean both choices, after all) and it makes us look like we think a 17-year-old target is easier to hit than a 44-year-old target."

Go read both full posts. I think she makes a fantastic claim for, um, not being fucking hypocrites. Which is even more amazing because it comes from Jezebel which, while I love it, does have a habit of shaming anyone who makes a date rape joke unless its one of their editors. Then it's funny.
So yes, lets all agree to try to be civil and while it might be amusing in the short term to make fun of Larry Craig and so forth it really just makes us all worse people and a worse country. I think we can all agree that NO ONE has any idea what the next 60 days hold.

Dakota Freaking Beautiful

So I was less than a fan of "The Secret Life of Bees" book which is racist in the most condescending way. This family of strong black women just needs a little white girl to come along so their story can be told. I would much rather just hear about Boatwright women, I really couldn't care less about Lily and how her mom died. The movie looks like more of the same and I'm just meh.

Except...
OMG DAKOTA FANNING is in the process of becoming a stunner. If she can just make it through adolescence with out a crack addition she is going to be one gorgeous broad.
Though I would also like to note that she is the same age as....

Miley Cyrus

And Ali Lohan.

And whereas Dakota looks like a 15 year old Miley and Ali look 30. Which is appropriate since Lindsay is looking about 40.
This isn't to body-snark about the Lohan girls, its more to just give props to Dakota and her handlers for keeping her age appropriate and not pushing a Lolitaesque image which frankly creeps me out when I discover that these girls are 15.