I wish I supported Sarah Palin

Because this would totally be my computer background.
LOL.
Pity. The gleeful fascination has worn off and now I am just angry and afraid. Though still a little gleefully fascinated.

My life is finally starting to calm down...

Movies I want to see:

A girl cut in two
Traitor
Burn after reading
Vicky Christinina Barcelona
Sukiyaki Western Django
Hamlet 2
Tell no one

Plays I want to see:
Boeing-boeing
Beast
Three Changes
The Seagull
Equus

14 Things That Irritated Me About The Pilot of Fringe

The weirdo symbols that we cut to right before every commercial break
Dharma initiative anyone?

That the scientist character is crazy.

That the insane asylum scene included both screaming sound fx and maniacal laughter sound fx in the background.

That someone okayed the line “You just don’t like me because I used to be the Marine special prosecutor and I put your friend away for rape.”

That the virus is a direct rip off of the X-files movie virus.
With the translucent skin, and the stickness, and the needing to be kept cold to slow the virus’ gestation.

The over dramatic music.
Just because the music is scared doesn’t mean I am.

That they did nothing with the cow.

That someone okayed the line “How is the doctor?” “He’s completely nuts. He’s also my only hope.”

The intrusiveness of the titles.
I shouldn’t be talking about the titles.

The unnecessaryness of the Baghdad scene.
Aside from the fact that we need to know that Joshua Jackson’s character speaks Farsi?

That a character as “smart” as Joshua Jackson would be so easily manipulated.

That the science has no apparent tie to reality.
Talking to the dead, anyone?

That the Kyle MacLaughlin-look alike being a twin is a complete cop out.

That the plot doesn’t make any sense emotionally or logically.
Its just being convoluted for the sake of being convoluted. I know that describes Lost but Lost is genuinely scary at times and the characters are compelling and well drawn from day one. Here its like they just strung together a series of traits –he has gambling debts and hates his father, she has trouble saying I love you etc – in replacement of character. I know its not fair to judge a show by its pilot. Some of my favorite shows took a while to get on their feet (30 Rock, American Office). But still this is JJ fucking Abrams we are talking about. The pilot of Lost is TV genus. This is just shit.

This weeks recomendation of JOY is:

Bollywood film "Om Shanti Om."
"Om Shanti Om" is like "Hamlet" crossed with "Singing in the Rain" with reincarnation, set in Bollywood in the 70’s and today.
And yes it is just as great as it sounds.

That song might sound familiar to you "So You Think You Can Dance" watchers.

Yet more evidence that So You Think You Can Dance is the awesomest thing ever.

Yes I Watched it.

And I am not ashamed.
But the official verdict is that High School Musical 2 (Aka 2 Chaste 2 Serious) is not nearly as good as High School Musical 1 (aka the whole not kissing thing kinda makes sense because none of the characters have started dating yet). Yes it picks up in its last 45 minutes with an awesome baseball dance sequence but before that there is waaay too much talking. Dear Disney, I do not watch High School Musical for the convoluted plotting, I watch it for the perky perky dance numbers. Which are, ehem, legitimately good. Hopefully they will step up their game for High School Musical 3 (maybe this time the characters will make out? Or come out?).
And yes I do plan on seeing it.

I need some help

So an old friend of the family sent me an email but I think I could use some help answering it:
Hi Larke,
“Uncle” Rick here. David and I were talking about movies worth watching. (You and he turned me on to The Departed last year – great flick!)

Any chance you would recommend a handful to me? I am contemplating a Blu Ray player so action, panoramas, “guy movies,” anything worth enjoying in 1080p are all potentials. I found Pulp Fiction unpleasant, but loved American Werewolf in London. I own all the Lethal Weapons, Bourne Identities, Dirty Harrys and Die Hards, as well as Director’s cuts of E.T., Terminator 2, and the Lord of the Rings series.

Thanks,

Rick

***

Below is my response:

Hey Rick,
I essentially just looked at my netflix history for the past three years and pulled stuff off of it that I really enjoyed and think you would too. Some of these are pretty mainstream and you might have seen already. Some are not.
Because you enjoyed the Departed so much you might be interested in checking out the Hong Kong movie it is based on. It’s called Infernal Affairs and is readily available. Its great in a slightly different way than Departed and fascinating to watch them both.
And now a list:
Memories of Murder and the Host – two Korean movies, one about serial killings and the other about a monster terrorizing Seoul. Both beautiful to watch, and really awesome plotwise.
The Devils Backbone - awesome ghost story from the director of Pans Labyrinth
Donnie Brasco - Mob movie from the late 90s with Johny Depp and Al Pacino. Im not really a fan of mob movies but this one is quite good.
Gone baby gone - a kidnapping drama from last year that got completely ignored at award time which I don't understand at all. Its incredibly tense and morally ambiguous.
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - I love this movie. I think it is gorgeously shot and subtly scary. My mom thinks it is the most boring thing she has ever seen in her life. Take that for what you will.
Michael Clayton - fantastic legal thriller from last year.
3:10 to Yuma - Western from last year. I bet it would look gorgeous in bluray.
Nightwatch - completely bizarre Russian scifi craziness. If you don't like weird, avoid this one. If you do... well its a gem. Unfortunately its sequel Daywatch is incomprehensible.
Breach - political thriller from last year. Again I don't know what this was ignored at awards time.
Zodiac - the pinnacle of serial killer movies. I dont think they will get any better.
City of God - AHmazing Brazilian movie about gang wars. Absolutely beautiful and fascinating. Probs my favorite of all the movies on this list.
Layer Cake - British mob thriller with Daniel Craig. Just a lot of fun.
Snatch - British mob thriller a la layer cake. Fun and what not.
Out of Sight - thriller from the mid 90s with Jenifer Lopez and George Cloony. Okay, i know, that makes it sound gross but it is a lot of fun and very sweet and swear JLo is actually good in it.
Idiocracy - deeply flawed but very funny movie about a future in which all the smart people have died out and the world is inhabited by idiots. An average man from our time who has been cryogenically frozen wakes up and discovers he could rule the world.
Brick - a nior mystery set in a southern California high school.
Rounders - fun poker movie.

***
I feel that certain people who read this blog (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) might actually have tastes closer to Rick's than mine. So please, boys and girls, leave your recommendations in the comments.

Dakota Freaking Beautiful

So I was less than a fan of "The Secret Life of Bees" book which is racist in the most condescending way. This family of strong black women just needs a little white girl to come along so their story can be told. I would much rather just hear about Boatwright women, I really couldn't care less about Lily and how her mom died. The movie looks like more of the same and I'm just meh.

Except...
OMG DAKOTA FANNING is in the process of becoming a stunner. If she can just make it through adolescence with out a crack addition she is going to be one gorgeous broad.
Though I would also like to note that she is the same age as....

Miley Cyrus

And Ali Lohan.

And whereas Dakota looks like a 15 year old Miley and Ali look 30. Which is appropriate since Lindsay is looking about 40.
This isn't to body-snark about the Lohan girls, its more to just give props to Dakota and her handlers for keeping her age appropriate and not pushing a Lolitaesque image which frankly creeps me out when I discover that these girls are 15.

Beautiful Trash

I am about to end four years studying film, TV and theatre. At the beginning I watched a lot of Bertoluchi, some Wenders, some French stuff. But the longer and longer I spend studying film the more I want light fluffy trash. Which isn’t to say I like all trash, sometimes trash is too…trashy. But when an summer blockbuster gets the right mix of fun and emotion and explosions and romance and some witty one liners and pretty stars it can be the most entertaining thing out there. And the well-done trash is something that America does better than any other place in the world (save Hong Kong and India).
So go watch Iron Man.
Yes it has so many problems. It makes no sense, Gwyneth Paltrow is terrible, and it’s a little bit racist. But there are moments of exhilaration and joy in there that I haven’t gotten from a superhero movie in a long time.
Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. is really really hot.
I don’t think I’ve liked a superhero movie this much since Batman Returns, though the first two X-Men movies came close. Iron Man ended and I turned to stephie and said “so when’s the sequel coming out?”
And that is high praise indeed.

Really BRAVO?

Confession: I love dance. I love seeing dance theatre, I love dance movies, I love dance reality shows. I know nothing about dance however, I just like watching people do tricks and move to a beat. It’s the same part of me that loves acrobats.
I also love reality television.
So I am totally a giant fan of all these new dance reality shows. “So you think you can dance” and “Americas next top dance crew” are absolutely horrific time sucks. I mean, they’re amazing and heart warming but if they have a marathon on TV my time is G.O.N.E.
I’m also a huge fan of Bravos “Top Chef” and “Project Runway” so I was super excited for “Step it up & Dance” Bravos version of the dance reality competition.
In theory dancers are perfect reality TV fodder. They’re pretty, they’re athletic and they are even more dramatic than actors. What makes ProRun and Top Chef so entertaining is 75% watching talented people use their talent and 25% watching them explode at each other. So if you just put 14 talented dancers in a room together it should make for pretty good television.
Except Reality Television actually does take talent. From casting, to arranging challenges to finding interesting judges to editing the whole thing together in an interesting way requires skill. Say what you will about Tyra Bank’s “America’s Next Top Model” but her producers and editors manage to pack a ton of drama into an hour and the editing cleverly sets up heroes and villains but in a subtle enough way that the winner is hard to guess.
Which gets at the increasingly fabricated nature of reality tv which has not been “real” for a long time. The editors are in charge of finding stories and putting footage together to fill that story. The participants are probably acting or at the least exaggerating in the hopes of developing a spin off series. In 2005 Tyra Banks’ editors went on strike to join the Writes Guild. Its difficult to argue that what an editor does isn’t crafting story. And today reality tv show workers are suing for overtime pay. Reality TV at its best is as finely crafted as any scripted show.
The people who made “Step it up & Dance” do not know that. From the choice of host (Elizabeth Berkley, famous for “Show Girls,” is sweet but uninteresting) to the Judges (catty yet unmemorable) to the selection of challenges (so far a Spice Girls challenge and a Burlesque challenge) just seem boring and uninspired. But while the problems permeate every section of the show its never more clear than during judging.
Early on each episode the characters are give a piece of choreography and then divided in to two groups. One group is the elimination group. This is a problem, everyone should be up for elimination, why would you let 50% of the participants off the hook? Why? They then learn some more choreography, go into an empty theater before the judges perform. In the other dance shows the performances occur in packed arenas. Would it really be so hard to bring in an audience? Its just awkward listening to that smattering of clapping. Then the Judges judge, which occurs while the dancers stand on stage and awkwardly fidget.
During judging the contestants of ANTM and ProRun are sent to a back room we have never seen while the judges cackle about their flaws. On Top Chef we see the back room where the contestants drink and bitch at each other about who should be eliminated. On Step it up & Dance the judges are hushed and not particularly mean because the contestants are standing RIGHT. THERE. Why not send them off stage? Why must it be so awkward?
Then one gets immunity for the next challenge and one is sent home and that’s the end of our show.
Why they should care about getting sent home is confusing however. All that is at stake is $100,000. Which is, I admit, a nice chunk of change but really? You couldn’t even line up a guaranteed part in the tour of “The Lion King”?
The whole thing seems shoddly thought through and poorly executed which is a shame because the dancers themselves are a fascinating mix of ballet and hip hop, prude and exhibitionist, catty fag (this is how he describes himself) and girl next door. Despite being tortured by the stupidly of the producers while watching the most recent show I might tune in again next week just to see if cocky Manuel finally gets cut down to size or if Jessica has that break down she’s been threatening for two episodes now.

Last thoughts:
1. One of the reasons why Bravos formula might not be working here is because unlike food or fashion dance is interpretive and not creative. None of the contestants are a choreographer. They are told what to do and then judged on their interpretation.
2. One of the reasons why I love top chef so much is because they are all drinking all the time. They love good food and good wine. They’re my kind of people.
3. Here are some links on the transitioning of reality TV.
Reality TV show workers sue for overtime pay
Are Reality-TV Actors Professional?
4. The successful Dance Reality shows have all been “American Idol” style call in vote shows. I don’t know why that is but there have been at least three “So you think you can dance,” “Dancing with the stars,” “Americas next top dance crew.”

Don't Forget to Catch Me

Back in High School my friends and I were obsessed with this German movie called Bandits. Bandits is about four women who form a rock band while in jail. They then escape from jail just as their cd is hitting the big time. So while they're on the run from the police their fans are everywhere. What will they do!? It’s like “prison break” crossed with “spice world.” It’s pretty wonderful. I still know all the words to the songs even though it’s been a good four years since the last time I saw it.

Anywho, I decided to rewatch it and see if 3 and a half years of training in story structure and other such bullshit had killed it for me.
NO.
I mean, I could tell you everything that is ridiculous about it (it is sublimely ridiculous) but my love for it stands the test of time.
So here I present the 6 things I love about Bandits.
6. Music: I love it when Germans sing in English. Never makes much sense but it sure do sound pretty.
5. Eye Candy: can we have male models with limited speaking skills in all films?
4. Reversal of punishment: in most movies if a female character screws up she will be punished while male characters tend to be excused. Here, if a man makes lewd comments to you he gets the smack down!
3. Dance sequences: In the middle of a crowded street.
2. Jumping: off of bridges and buildings causes hardly a bruise.
1. When in doubt light a car on fire: works every time.

Hot Mess

In one of my classes the other day we had a discussion about the phrase "Hot Mess" and whether or not it was a good thing. Even though its used to describe Britney Spears I think its a good thing. I mean, its saying that even though your life's a mess you're still hot? Right? Oh god, like I actually know how to speak my own language.
Anyway, when I say hot mess I think of "Romance and Cigarettes."

It is such a mess (A HOT ONE). But its also incredible. Its a musical in which everyone is singing covers of rock songs. Except, well, they're not covers, its more like the original song. And people are singing along to it. Not lip sinking, you can hear their voices. But sort of like singing along to the radio.
ANYWAY its a musical about Tony Soprano having an affair with Kate Winslet and his wife Susan Sarandon finds out. Theres also Mandy Moore and Mary Louise Parker as their punked out daughters. Steve Bushemi as well, the character Steve Bushemi always plays. And Kate Winslet is so hot.
Thats about it. Except its awesome. It takes the conventions of the big hollywood musicals and grungifys them. It sort of peters out at the end and none of it really makes any sense. But it = awesome.
Speaking of Susan Sarandon: she just gets hotter. Seriously. And shes an amazing actress (wow. understatement of the year right there). Take for example this piece of writer propaganda for the strike:


The propaganda actually fails because she so damn good at emoting the blah blah blah.

Will Tim Gunn be my Friend?

Tim Gunns's guide to style totally made me cry. Tim is so sweet and doesn't have an inch of cattiness.
LOVE. HIM.

Who do you like better? David Cronenberg or John Waters?

So I rented “Crash” (NOT the Paul Haggis Crash) because I recently watched “eXistenZ” which is also directed by David Cronenberg, and loved it, and “A History of Violence” is seriously one of my all time favorite movies.
Crash is about people who are turned on my car crashes. It won the 1996 Porn award for best alternative feature so that should tell you something. Pretty much everyone has sex with everyone (a world without STDs!) and there is little to no plot. What plot there is goes something like this: James Spader gets in a car wreck and kills Holly Hunter’s husband. Later, they have sex in a car park. Then they watch a recreation of James Dean’s crash. They meet Vaughn, a guy obsessed with car wrecks. Vaughn may be a homicidal maniac but James Spader lets him fuck his wife in the backseat of his car while the three of them go through a carwash.
The movie tries to explore the connection between death and eroticism which is in itself interesting. But the lack of a plot means the movie is basically sex scene, car crash, awkward conversation, sex scene, sex scene, car crash, etc. “Crash” was a book first and I feel like it probably worked better. As it is, it really works best as porn. And porn is boring.
The idea that we feel most alive when we are closest to death is interesting (they don’t call it le petit mort for nothing) but is probably not a theme that works in film. The movie’s titillation with disfiguration give the movie a cinematic spark. But over all my vote is: meh.
Which brings me to John Waters. John Waters’ movies also explore eroticism and his characters are bizarre and grotesque. But there is such a humor to his movies that you can’t help but love them even when they’re dealing with serious(ish) topics. I recently watched Cecil B. Demented which is John Waters’ fuck-you-hollywood-i-don’t-wanna-sell-out movie. Again, everyone has sex with everyone, but at the end Melanie Griffith lights her hair on fire. And who doesn’t love that?

Nothing can break us, no one can make us give our rights away!

Arise and seize the day!

More strike news but this time its not writer related. I am supposed to go to a show on Broadway this evening but the Broadway stagehands union may or may not vote to strike sometime this afternoon. Which means I will have no idea what to do for fun if both tv AND Broadway is taken away from me.
What should I do with my time once the tv is gone?
1) Learn to play the violin.
2) Take up a sport.
3) Work more/ make more money.
4) Abuse drugs/alcohol.
5) Save the whales.
6) Write more.
VOTE NOW!

This is what my TV teacher had to say to me:

“As some of you may know, it looks like the Writers Guild is going to strike. You might think that this will be a good opportunity for your career. It is. If you never want to work again. If you cross picket lines it is scabbing and the guild will find out. You might think that no one will find out but they will. And you will never be able to join. Ever.”
...
Not that I would scab anyway but now I am totally terrified. The guild knows all.

The people I live with

Our mail box is maybe four inches across, probably a little over a foot tall and maybe five or six inches deep. Needless to say when all the roommates (4) get their dvds from netflix on the same day, the poor little box can't take it.

Boom!

I was rewatching Independence day (aka the best movie EVER) the other day and you know the scene where the crop duster guy flies his airplane into the heart of the space ship and causes the entire thing to explode? Well, does that ever actually happen in real life? Like, where if you shoot just the right thing everything falls apart? It happens all the time in sci fi movies, Star Wars IV and VI both use it.
But I think the closest we come in our world is this:

Which required a lot of time and planning and well placed explosives set up by this one implosion corporation that is just this one family and the only way you can join is if you marry into the family and yes this is totally true my family watched a documentary on them.
Which is cool.
But not as cool as just shooting the one special place in the king dome. Sad.
*I did a lot of research (“research”) to find just the right video to accompany this post. You should go waste your life on youtube too.

Women kicking ass on television

I would really like either "the sara connor chronicles" OR "the bionic woman" to be good. I can live with one being bad. But both?

"What's that sound in your heart?" "Murder."

I went through a serial killer phase in middle school, as I am sure most mildly disturbed children did. Me and my friend Betsy would read Helter Skelter, and mindhunter and watch the X-Files. We didn’t want to be serial killers we were just extremely fascinated. This was also the period of my life where I wanted to be a coroner. We would stay up until dawn discussing Zodiac and Green River and work ourselves into a hysteria. It didn’t help that Wayne Nanc was from Missoula or that Bestsy mom had known one of Ted Bundy’s victims. Years later, long after Betsy and I had stopped being friends, I thought of her when they finally caught the green river killer.
Anywhoo here is my round up of the best Serial killer movies.
6. Scream
Okay, so it’s not a “thriller” but it was the first horror movie I ever saw (and it traumatized me greatly.) It totally fulfills the serial killer requirements: methodological murder, and tormenting of victims.
5. Se7en Fulfills the genre requirements of serial-killer-being-obscenely-smart. Also totally paved the way for Saw with its focus of bizaro deaths. Its remembered for being incredible gross and graphic but what I found most powerful was when they only showed bodies through photos. Its coy is a very weird and effective way.
4. M Fritz Lang’ moody, take on how the criminal underworld fights back against someone too deranged, even for them. Features on of the most tense chase sequences ever.
3. Zodiac Not so much about a serial killer as it is about people obsessed with serial killers (see! I can relate!) It’s violence is brief but so effective and it really captures the paranoia of the time.
2. Silence of the Lambs
I don’t really need to say anything. Everyone has seen it and every one agrees that it is great. It IS great. It would be the greatest. Except:
1. Memories of Murder Ever since I saw this Korean movie by the guy who directed the Host I have been trying desperately to convince people to see it. First of all it is beautiful, the cinematography is stunning. There are lots of shots in rain and wind and wheat that I don’t actually know HOW they were able to get. Second: a lot of the tropes of Serial killer movies, the search for DNA, the pristine crime scene, etc. are flipped on their head by the lack of technology in 1970’s Korean added to the ineptitude of a rural police force that has never encountered a serial killer before. A foot print is run over by a tractor, for instance. Third, like Zodiac, it charts the madness of the people pursuing the killer but I find that it does it in a much more heart breaking way. See it. Please. Its amazing. (Also that poster is just bizare)