Reasons Why The Battlestar Finale Broke My Heart So (a list):

1) Back when the show first started and the plot point of “looking for earth” was established I said that if they showed up in prehistoric earth I would stop watching the show. Clever them for holding it out until the last episode when it is too late for me to quit.
2) Cranky as I was, when Roslin died I cried.
3) I really, really hate that they gave up all their technology.
a. The reason why the giving up technology thing bothers me so much is that it is anti-science and also stupid. The second that first earth winter rolls around they’re all going to be longing for those heaters they flew into the sun.
b. It also undermines all the atrocities of human history. Sure the plague was bad but AT LEAST WE’RE NOT FIGHTING THE ROBOTS ANYMORE. Slave trade? Could be worse, could be robots. Holocaust? NOT AS BAD AS ROBOTS.
c. Their decision is laid out as though it is noble and smart to give up technology (and teach the native humans language but we will get to that in a second) and there is no space, or room for argument. It is presented as though going back to the land is the right decision. Which I don’t think it is.
d. When Apollo says he is going to explore the earth I shuddered. Anyone else see echos of Christopher Columbus and the assorted genocide?
i. And again he says these lines and I think the writers intend for it to be inspiring and beautiful. I think they want us to think “man, earth rocks!” But all I got was “fuck, Apollo is going to go subjugate some natives.”
e. And man did that section drag.
4) Could the opera house sequence have been any more bang you over the head obvious?
5) When Tori got her neck snapped I cried tears of joy.
6) Why did every single line once they got to earth have to be about how beautiful it is/was? I kept waiting for them to turn to the camera and say “now kids, remember to recycle.”
7) When they were all running through the opera house, I cried even though I was cranky.
8) Was Starbuck just a group hallucination? Tune into Caprica, premiering this fall to find out I’m sure.
9) Cavil just shoots himself? Well that was easy, now wasn’t it?
10) Uh… its really off and creepy that a majority white cast is talking about how they are going to colonize Africa and teach the natives language. Seriously the only two black characters were either a cylon or a suicide 10 episodes ago.
a. Oh and the Indian actor was both a cylon and strangled.
11) When boomer redeemed herself, I cried. And then she got shot.
12) Wait so Hera is mitochondrial eve? Even though there were 38,000 humans spread across the entire world? Huh?
13) When I though Helo was going to die, I cried.
14) Was the modern robot montage at the end supposed to be creepy? Because all I got from it was “man, our robots SUCK.”
a. And seriously, is the moral of this show that I should be nice to my blender? Cause that’s what I’m getting from it.
i. Side note: I am pissed there wasn’t a shot of a roomba in that montage. Of all modern robots they are the creepiest in my humble opinion.
1. unless they have a cat on them. Then they are awesome.
15) Wait so God (he doesn’t like to be called that) orchestrated all of this? The religious parts of this show were always the weakest in my opinion. And we’re supposed to just buy that the head baltar and head six are angels? Or something. Recall for a minute that head six made real baltar give Nina the nuke which she used to kill a whole bunch of innocent people. For no good reason. If god controlled everything he’s a very old testament and asshole god.
16) So…Daniel? Didn’t really have anything to do with anything?
17) Did we really have to have a “150,000 years later” title card? Really?
18) When I realized that the awesome space battle had transformed into shots of grass waving in the breeze I cried.