Jesse: I’ve got the song from rent stuck in my head. The one that goes something something something something minutes.
Me: (singing) Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
Jesse: yes that one
Me: (Singing) how do you measure a year in the life?
Jesse: I don’t even have it on my ipod. Its because of the internet.
Me: (singing) how about Looooooove?
Jesse: But… but… that’s not a unit of measurement.

Its 1 am. All of the roommates are up and about even though we all really should be in bed. The boys are teaching each other knots. I recognize that this is something that they need to know for film purposes.
“let me show you the truckers hitch. Does that look sturdy at all?”
“I would not attach anything expensive to the end of that.”
“pull on it.”
“Oh my god I can pull the pipe down.”
“who said being a boy scout was gay. This is awesome.”
“you get to tie each other up.”
Even though I understand that this is something career related I still can’t help myself from making bondage jokes.
Me: “You guys are like sailors. Dominatrix sailors.”

Me: I started a trashy screenplay last night for no good reason.
Asher: Were you drinking?
Me: Maybe.
Asher: Starting a screenplay while hammered is a great idea.

I love Jezebel

I was totally trying to figure out how to talk about the Diablo Cody backlash with out sounding whiny and then Jezebel did it for me.
Perhaps I should leave blogging to the big girls?
...
naaaaah.

Ah Theatre.

Just read this in the NYTimes. In it Marsha Norman talks about what’s wrong with theatre today which is one of my LEAST favorite topics of all time. But I happen to agree with everything she says (and lord knows I love agreeing). The whole thing is definitely worth a read but I’m gonna quote the last section.

Finally, at least for this go-round, I like what this play represents: a life-long association of a writer with a group of actors and a theater. This is why Shakespeare wrote so much, he had a whole gang of actors waiting to do his work. Go down the list — the writers who wrote a lot of wonderful plays were always associated with a community of actors they could write for: Shepard, Chekhov, Brian Friel, Alan Ackbourne, David Mamet, Lanford Wilson, Caryl Churchill, Richard Foreman, Wendy Wasserstein. Playwrights who live apart from theaters and actors have a lot of trouble getting their work done. Playwrights need to be around actors, need to be a part of a theater’s life.
It is worth noting that Mr. Letts began his theatrical life as an actor. Plays by actors tend to have lots of crazy stuff in them, and whatever else they’re about, they’re always about how much fun it is to be on the stage. “True West” springs to mind here. But this sense of fun is something writers with no acting talent can catch. And it’s definitely something the audience likes. We could use more things happening in the theater, and fewer plays where people sit in chairs and talk.
If we wanted to do one single thing to improve the theatrical climate in America, we’d assign one playwright to every theater that has a resident acting company. People wonder why so much great work came out of Actors Theatre of Louisville in the early days. I was there, so I know it was simply that you had everything you needed: actors who wanted to work, empty stages ready for plays and an artistic director who gave everybody a chance to do whatever they wanted as soon as they could think of it. Playwriting in America has suffered a devastating blow from the development process that keeps writers separate from the rest of the company, working on the same play for years. What playwrights want is what Steppenwolf has given Mr. Letts: a way to get a new play done, see what works, and then go on to the next one. “August: Osage County” is way more than a wonderful play. It is how we get back to having American plays on Broadway. We get them written for actors who want to do them, then producers get on board and start selling tickets.

She pinpoints exactly what I find frustrating about theatre and maddening in my education. I have spent 4 years being taught that playwriting happens alone in a room with a computer. Which isn’t true. As someone who is going to “go out into the world” of theater in.. oh… two months now I feel incredibly unprepared to do good work.
Which I fully recognize is just as much my fault as anyone else’s.
But as someone who would, in theory, like to be a part of American Theatre I am not really sure how to go forward. Should I move to a smaller city, say Chicago or Minneapolis where the theatre world is less cut throat? Should I go back to school in a program where there is more interaction with actors? Should I stay in New York and try to drag all the actors I know into a community around me?
These are questions that I’m going to try to answer within the next six months and while there are no right answers I will probably pick the wrong one at first (and I’m okay with that.)
In closing: I believe that the best undergrad training for playwrights exists at NYU… in the acting program. I have seen some damn fine theatre come out of playwrights horizons (an acting lab at nyu) and communities seem to be built there that do not exist in the department of dramatic writing.

Ads I Hate:

Blasphemy! BLASPHEMY I SAY!
To be fair I’ve hated every single one of these ads in this series. There has been Riply fighting the Alien and talking about Directv. There has been Kirk mocking Spock while shilling Directv. And it all started off with the Back to the Future one. But for some reason I find this ad particularly offensive. Maybe because its making fun of torture. I mean, I know that torture is no big deal. We do what we have to in the name of national security. God forbid we take the moral high road. That would just be stupid.
Theres a bomb in manhattan and you have the man who planted it and its going to go off in an hour what do you do? Do you torture? Is this a scenario that will ever actually show up in reality?
Also Misery is a brilliant movie.

Ads I Love

What exactly is this Friskies ad saying? If your cat eats our food it will hallucinate? It shall romp through a magical world of cgi fishies and cows. And the animation is some weird combo of live action and something else so everything just looks stoned. Whatever. It’s so ridiculously random that when ever it comes on I can’t help but laugh.

Larke Recommends:

The Right Madness By James Crumley.

I originally picked up this book because it takes place partly in Missoula and Jim is a hometown legend. But this story of a hard drinkin PI (I need to type that phrase more often) investigating his psychologist friend has me riveted. I was so engrossed in reading about CW (our wonderful protagonist) pulling a pen out of the arm of a corrupt FBI agent with only pliers and some vodka that I didn’t notice that it was my stop until the doors started to close. I had to pry the doors open with my bare hands God knows I don’t want to walk home from the Grand Ave stop.
I have the bruises on my hand to prove it.
I give it two shots of cold turkey straight up.
Which is my new Mystery novel rating system. That translates to “two thumbs up” in your yellow belly coward’s tongue.

FLOATING CARS

Who wants to go to the Gugenheim with me?

Happy Vagina Day

I am so excited for valentines day. Actually, I'm excited for the day after valentines day because I'm totally going to make a raid on Duane Reade and buy all the 50% off dove hearts in the entire store.
Also I get paid tomorrow.
Conincidence? Or divine planning?
You decide.

KIMCHI IN SPACE!

No seriously. Kim Chi is going to space. The whole international space station is going to smell like pickled cabage.

Pretty disastrous day in the writing department. Instead of writing during an in-class exercise I started thinking about how little I know about Catholicism or space or mars and how much research I have to do and how I don’t have any TIME and how my play has become whether or not there is a god which is not what I intended when I first started writing it and I DON’T FRIKEN KNOW what I believe in and it all culminated in me sobbing in the bathroom for a half an hour.
My poor professor was shocked and like “what is going on? You weren’t like this last semester. Write the play you want to write.”
To which I sobbed: “I don’t know the play I want to write.”
But then I chilled out and drank some hot cocoa and came home and read a cook book which always makes me feel better. I don’t feel any better about writing but I feel less despairing about whether or not I believe in god.

Things that make leaving the house even harder in the morning:

When weather.com says
Today: Bright and Sunny
19 degrees
Feels like 2

Vomit:

When John Sexton, the president of New York University, first met Omar Saif Ghobash, an investor trying to entice him to open a branch campus in the United Arab Emirates, Mr. Sexton was not sure what to make of the proposal — so he asked for a $50 million gift.
“It’s like earnest money: if you’re a $50 million donor, I’ll take you seriously,” Mr. Sexton said. “It’s a way to test their bona fides.” In the end, the money materialized from the government of Abu Dhabi, one of the seven emirates.
-- from the NYTimes

I recognize that raising money is the whole point of John Sexton's existence. But can't he be a little more subtle?

Realization:

Vegans can’t eat HONEY. Going without meat I can understand but whipping cream? Cheese? Omelets? Wool coats? Honey?
What is life without honey?

Nerd? Me?

"The Knights Who Say Nerd: 20 things Dorkier than Monty Python" I am guilty of 8.
And as if that weren't enough.
I WANT THIS:

Please, my birthday is in four months! Please please please!

The Greatest Tuesday in the History of Tuesdays.

I feel very left out that I didn't get to vote in Super Tuesday.
I did however eat pork lard in honnor of Fat Tuesday.
...
That's not true at all. I'm going to watch firefly and go to bed. It's my parents that are boozing it up in N'Awlins.
...
Im jelious.

Talk to Me

One of the things I am really loving about writing my nuns on mars play is how much the premise of it makes people want to talk. I’ve never had this before. With my other plays conversations have gone something like:
Person: What’s your play about?
Me: Bosnia.
Person: Oh. Dark. (Walks away)
Or
Person: What’s your play about?
Me: it’s a political thriller about a presidential candidate who’s accused of rape.
Person: Neat. (Walks away)
But now the conversations go:
Person: What’s your play about?
Me: Nuns on Mars.
Person: Oh my god that’s awesome. Did you know [insert factoid about mars]? Have you read [insert sci fi book]? My [insert relative] was a nun! But then she quit and married a monk!
I don’t mean for the above to appear mean. I really love that people seem to attach to the premise on an intellectual level. I’ve always been pretty upfront about my scifi nerdom so I find it interesting (vindicating) that everyone, even people who seem normal, has a sci fi book that I just must read. I also love that other people like Mars just as much as I do.
And as someone who was raised outside of organized religion I’ve always been fascinated by Catholicism and Catholics relationship to their faith. Its this incredible love, hate, fascination, recognizing the weirdness while still totally embracing it that I think is unique in its intensity. And Catholics totally want to talk about it. Which is wonderful for me. So yeah, despite the fact that this play is kicking my ass in a way that no other play has done to me, I am enjoying talking to people about it.

My Dad and I watch the Super Bowl

I am in New York, My dad is in New Orleans. Together we watched the Superbowl. This is our conversation. I edited for spelling but that’s it. We have unlimited texting incase you can’t tell. I feel that this shows how even two people who know nothing about foot ball could appreciate the wonderment that was last nights game.

Dad: R U watching the Superbowl?
Me: GO GIANTS.
Me: You?
Dad: I'm at a Super Bowl party in New Orleans. Mom is at the hotel writing and avoiding sports. How ‘bout them Giants (at last).
Me: WOOO! Though the giants are like democrats. They can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Dad: Yes I am (underline am) capable of going to a Super Bowl party… Who’s playing? Seriously, there is good food and drink. And I'm in another culture, and digging it.
Me: I’m actually watching it alone. I kinda care. We should talk about New Orleans when you get a chance.
Dad: I can’t belive you are watching without roomies. Yes, lets talk New Orleans soon. We are still building toward fat teus. It all seems very lavish and debauched, but apparently we haven’t seen anything yet.
Me: was there a parade yesterday?
Dad: Several. We saw 2. Saw 2 today. And we got stuck in traffic tonight b/c theres another now.
Me: so many parades. Having a good time?
Dad: Very much so. I have never seen anything like this & mom & I r enjoying the weirdness.
Me: Good good. When is the ball?
Dad: Monday nite. And what was with that Patriots scoring?
Me: I KNOW. I am not happy.
Dad: New Orleans is rooting for Eli Manning.
Me: Everyone hates the pats. They cheat.
Me: That was a beautiful throw. Did you see it?
Dad: This is exciting. I did c it.
Me: AAAAA! Go eli!
Dad: WOW. TD.
Me: Oh god. Longest 1 sec ever.
Dad: 1 second to go.
Me: WOOHOO!
Dad: YES!
::later::
Me: Eli’s dad was the quarterback for the new Orleans saints. That’s why they were cheering for eli.
Dad: and he and Peyton and an older bro all went to High School here.
Me: Ah. Go New Orleans.
Dad: archie was beloved here my hosts tell me.
Me: Well NY has certainly adopted Eli.

Yes We Can.

This is absolutly wonderful. I have to admit it got me a little teary.