Best thing ever

http://waxy.org/random/view.php?type=video&filename=shining_redux.mov

Adventures in Advising

Here are some select quotes from my meeting with my advisor

starting with:
Me: Hi, My names Larke, I’m one of your advisees.
Advisor: you look very familiar.
Me: I’m a sophomore.
Advisor: I remember! You missed your appointment with me.
Me: yes, a year ago.
Advisor: Well come on in, I should get to know all my advisees, even the ones who miss appointments.
***
Advisor: I think you should go to Africa. If you don’t you’ll regret it. But check and make sure there hasn’t been a rash of kidnappings of little red headed girls first.
***
Advisor: Do you want to be an actress?
Me: well, I’m a writer first but yes.
Advisor: I hope you will realize that’s a mistake sometime soon.
***
Advisor: I’m a good teacher, I make a lot of my students very bitter.
Me: (laughing uncomfortably)
Advisor: I’m joking, larke.
Me: (laughing even more uncomfortably)
***
Advisor: Don’t fuck anyone in Africa. If you go to Italy go ahead and gallivant about the hills. But be careful in Africa.

I'm going to hell

I am a bad bad person. There is plenty of evidence to prove this conclusion but I will share only one. My treatment of acti-bums.
For those of you who do not live in a highly pedestrian city (such as NYC) acti-bums are activists who are paid to stand in the street and harass you. (my friend asher is a anti-mercury-in-water acti-bum, therefore I don’t talk to him anymore). They play on guilt, flattery and pathos to get your hard earned money into the hands of those in need.
Excuse me. They use their money to pay their salary. For every person they reel in they get a commission and the money is mostly likely going to grease the wheels of a gigantic bureaucracy.
At least that is what I tell myself to help me sleep at night.
At first I had sympathy for the acti-bums. I congratulated my suitemate when she was reeled into sponsoring a small Asian child. I would sometimes talk to them. And I would always say, “Sorry, I’m late for class” followed by a big smile when I didn’t have time to chat.
That was before I became bitter and jaded.
I believe it was the time one jumped out in front of me and made me spill my coffee. Or maybe it was the time one touched my arm to try to stop me from walking by. Or maybe it was witnessing one pull all the stops to get a naive friend to sign up right then and there. Here is a sample of their conversation:
Friend: Wow, 30 bucks, that’s a lot of money a month.
Acti bum: its not too much to sooth your troubled soul.
Friend: It seems like a good cause, can I have an web address to do some more research?
Acti bum: you can sign up right now.
Friend: I don’t have any cash on me.
Acti bum: You can use a credit card.
Friend: I’m not allowed to use my credit card with out consulting my mom first.
Acti bum: Call your mom.
Friend: what? She’s at work.
Acti bum: she wont mind being interrupted. She’ll be so proud of you.
Friend: you think?
Acti bum: call her right now and we’ll talk to her together. She’ll be proud to know that her daughter is so conscientious.
And with that she GOT MY FRIEND TO CALL HER MOTHER AT WORK. I was awed. I was amazed. I was vaguely horrified. Luckily for my friend and her credit card her mom was in a meeting.
Now whenever I encounter an Acti-bum I pretend they don’t exist (though if I ever bump into Asher in his acti bum duties I may egg him). I’m even ruder to the acti bums evil off spring: the comedy show promoters and the hair model salesmen. I have actually made eye contact with them and then looked away and hurried on, provoking one to shout after me “what? You don’t speak English.”
But sometimes they tell me they love my hair. So then I smile.

I am not a girl.

But I am not a boy either? What does that make me? Hmmmmmmm.
"Let's hug it out, bitch"
So I have been watching a fair bit of entourage (god bless you netflix). I rented it out of curiosity and because, well, I had been told I would hate it. From what I had heard it sounded like something I would hate: misogynist, chauvinist and male centric. But I don’t believe in hating anything until you have experienced it first had. So I ordered it expecting to send the disk back with one, maybe two episodes watched.
But here’s the thing.
I really like it.
Not that it excuses the show at all (we all know I have been a bad feminist since I moved to New York). It is misogynistic and chauvinist, there’s no way to pussyfoot around it. (*smack*) But the main characters are so stupid its hard to believe anyone would take them seriously. Entourage is just as much an indictment of boys-will-be-boys behavior as my sweet 16 is an indictment of rich people.
But, I’m just making excuses.
The show is funny and I recommend it for anyone toying with the idea of never dating male again. It will definitely push you over the edge.
On another note: I officially hate the gender binary. But I don't have the energy to rant on that right now.

Best. Picture. Ever.

in case you cant tell, the floating island is being followed by a mini gate.

In the epic battle between larke and the juice...the juice wins.

My juice was poisoned.
No seriously.
See, I’ve been sick these past couple of days and, of course, I’ve been ingesting lots of fluids. I have this giant thing of pineapple orange juice at home that I have been drinking compulsively, but I didn’t seem to be getting any better. Well, three vitamin waters later I am feeling AOK. I’m drinking coffee, eating cereal (with MILK!) and my digestive system is behaving. I make myself a sandwich to take to work, along with a water bottle filled with juice. With the pineapple orange juice. (cue omniminious music) Later, at work, I take one sip of the juice and settle down to read the bible when.. Shakes…Hot and cold flashes… tummy rebelling… the letters on the page keep dancing around…
Now who could have poisoned my juice? Who had unlimited access? Who would get a single if I died? And free therapy? And who spent a good part of the evening trying to convince me that my responce to the juice was psychosomatic? Who I wonder? Who indeed?
Anyway, remember how I was going to update this thing ALL THE TIME? Yeah. About that.
Anyway, back to Larke reading the Bible. Is it bad that I refuse to just carry the thing? I stick it in my bag when I have to walk any where with it. I’m embarrassed to be seen with it. I’m afraid someone will think I am a bible freak. Cause I’m not. It’s for a class. Which I am going to get an A in. No lazy larke who’s not doing her reading this semester. No sirree.
Also, I’ve been reading the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe which gives someone far to much glee. (the same someone who may be trying to kill me?) But it goes nicely with my bible.

*Note: Larke does not actually think her roommate is trying to kill her. So any RA's or roommates dont need to be worried. This was just inserted for comedic purposes. (or was it?)

From the Onion

Friday, September 9, 2005

CBGB's Lease Expires

The landlord of the CBGB's building announced that he will not renew the lease of the legendary New York club. What do you think?

Gordon Puente,
Glazier
"The musical voice of a generation has gone silent. Now, we’ll be able to clearly hear the actual voices of that same generation complain about joint pain."

Joseph Gardener,
Stereo Installer
"If I ever miss CBGB's, I'll put on a shitty band's self-released CD, drink a $6 Budweiser, and piss all over myself."

Amy Lindner,
Systems Analyst
"CBGB's is following in the great punk tradition (i.e. it's dying)."

God loves me the bestest

God loves me. Yes he does. And god spoke to me. Oh Im sorry? Were you thinking of Jahwe? I was of course refering to Joss (JOSS!) Whedon.
Joss is wise.
Joss is kind.
Joss is benevolent.
Joss. Be my friend.... Please!

Cough.

Ehem.













(His hair isn't that red in real life)

Anywhoo.... Joss pointed (POINTED) at my dear ledah and answered her question. And he's witty in real life too, not just on DVD comentary.
PLUS, (added bonus to night of wonder) I saw this movie:






















Based on this TV show:











Which I know and Love (LOVE!!!)

And someone dies and its really sad.

It was heaven (HEAVEN)

My life is all down hill from here.

Today's Not-Depressing-Picture

Brought to you by BBCNews.com.

Luambe, a five-day-old baby hippopotamus, takes a cautious look out of his pool in a German zoo.