Adventures in Advising

Here are some select quotes from my meeting with my advisor

starting with:
Me: Hi, My names Larke, I’m one of your advisees.
Advisor: you look very familiar.
Me: I’m a sophomore.
Advisor: I remember! You missed your appointment with me.
Me: yes, a year ago.
Advisor: Well come on in, I should get to know all my advisees, even the ones who miss appointments.
***
Advisor: I think you should go to Africa. If you don’t you’ll regret it. But check and make sure there hasn’t been a rash of kidnappings of little red headed girls first.
***
Advisor: Do you want to be an actress?
Me: well, I’m a writer first but yes.
Advisor: I hope you will realize that’s a mistake sometime soon.
***
Advisor: I’m a good teacher, I make a lot of my students very bitter.
Me: (laughing uncomfortably)
Advisor: I’m joking, larke.
Me: (laughing even more uncomfortably)
***
Advisor: Don’t fuck anyone in Africa. If you go to Italy go ahead and gallivant about the hills. But be careful in Africa.