Tuesday's pop culture round up (or down)

Do you know what I just learned (and I mean just! This information is hot off the presses of being processed by my brain)? Billy Crudrup is the voice of the master card commercials. He has been for the last seven years. That's him with the goatee and glasses in the convenience store ad saying 'satisfying a late night slushy fix?'

Gwen Stefani's music video for Hollaback Girl is nominated for best video of the year. Cause, you know, 30 costume changes in 3 minutes is the sign of quality. But I did discover some interesting information about the term Hollaback Girl from Wikipedia. Apparently, a Hollaback Girl is a boys second choice after he's struck out with his first option. Or she's a cheerleader. The song was written as a throw down (yes I just used the term throw down, just talking about this song damages my IQ) to Courtney Love who referred to Stefani as the music industry's cheerleader. (whatever that means). It does make the following lyrics slightly more interesting. "both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one/so I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all, gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you/that's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust" But really nothing can top the wisdom, the poetry of that shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s. Sigh. That song taught me to spell!

In the list of absolutely unnecessary remakes I am putting Pride and Prejudice at the top. The 6 hour BBC version is a work of genius and Jennifer Ehle is the most amazing Elizabeth ever and I still want to screw Colin Firth because of it even though hes grown progressively uglier and stupider but they are both just so amazing and hot in that. Ugh, All of Kiera Knightlys charm has worn off and all that is left is an annoying, semi-pretty, plucky, British woman (and there are few things duller). Also, she and I have the same facial structure and its beginning to creep me out. (though, it does mean that she, and I, and Natalie Portman could play sisters in some future movie. Plante? Wanna make it?)

Speaking of Natalie Portman. V for Vendetta doesn't look half bad though Alan Moore does have a curse put on him where all his comic books are made into CRAP (From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). The thing is, I think V for Vendetta is one of his worst (not that it says much, its still pretty cool) so maybe it will make a better movie. Who knows. They got the feel right anyway.

And now, since this week has not had enough gratuitous pictures of gorgious women, I bring you, Aeon Flux:

When it gets real hot like this I keep my undies in the ice box.

Oh the pain.
I feel that I am about two steps this side of death. Barely. We are into the third week of the program and I want to collapse. Or kill something. Something that might resemble a student? Well, you may be on to me.
I wish my motha could see me now. She always complains that I am lazy when I am in Missoula. If. She. Only. Knew.
Alright. Enough with the self pity.
I took the chickens to the UN on Saturday (je suis un dork). Its for an assignment where they have to go and experience a part of New York they’ve never been to before and then write about it, thinking about place as character or something. I feel that they were a little under whelmed. I, however, entered the security council chambers and nearly started crying. (je suis over emotional)
Then I took them to Café Reggio.
I also saw SLC Skirts. Jarky was not in a skirt. Or even a kilt. He was wearing something that had a sneaking resemblance to pants. That bastard. I was misled. But he was funny and I love him and I got to hear all about Operation Too-Cute-For-Words-So-Us-Bitter-Normal-People-Wont-Even-Try-To-Begin-To-Describe-It. Theresa and I get the best friends EVER award for staying up waaaaaaaaaay past our bed time to see him. (I was out after the kiddies curfew. Gota love that ol double standard.)
Wednesday, this coming Wednesday, is my night off. Back when I had energy I planed on going wild. Yeah. Not so much. But I am planning on a nice meal (not downstein thank god) and perhaps you me and everyone we know (mostly because it got good reviews but also partly because it has the guy who plays Saul on Deadwood and I fancy him). So if you are in New York and I love you, you are totally invited.


And now a chicken anecdote:
I’m sitting in the courtyard of the MoMA while the kiddies run amuck talking to my father about this and that. He’s puttering about the house, talking on the portable when he suddenly says to me “Honey, I need to put the phone down for a sec. one, two, three, four, five, six, chickens just got into the house.” Apparently, they started to roost on the kitchen table.
Who wants to come over to my house for dinner when I get back?
All I have to say it, there just isn’t enough bleach in the world to get me to eat off that table again.

Tom Cruse and the bordom of Larke

Other people do not update their blogs/livejournals enough. I need to be entertained, people! (and as we all know, the world revolves around me) I don’t think people quite understand just how much time a day I spend in front of a computer. Staring at an empty screen waiting…waiting… for something amusing to catch my eye. You think I do this out of personal choice but my job needs me, nay requires me to sit here, in front of a computer, hour after hour. It’s enough to drive a poor girl mad. Have a little sympathy guys! What, do you want me to read a book or something? Ew!
Speaking of books: I recommended Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell to my brother and he actually sounded like he might be interested (exclamation point to the extreme). I mean, he could be acting but he at least pretended that he was writing it down. Some of you may recall the Christmas debacle a few years back when I bought him summerland, the once and future king, dune, and I robot (all good books he should read) and the day right after Christmas he returned them ALL. This was then followed by his birthday when I bought him the same books and then WROTE on the inside covers of all of them why I thought he should read them, making them impossible to return. I’m surprised our relationship ever recovered (actually come to think of it, maybe his feigned interest was a peace offering, I suppose that means I need to feign interest in D&D.)
While I was sitting at work, NOT reading my friends blogs, I actually stumbled across this quite fascinating article on celebrity as a mental disorder. http://www.newyorkmag.com/nymetro/news/culture/features/12264/
“Stars are not just like us. According to researchers, celebrities are four times as likely to commit suicide as noncelebrities and live, on average, thirteen years less than Joe and Jane Sixpack. Celebrities may receive substandard treatment at hospitals, victims of deferred medical tests or competition between surgeons for the honor of operating on a celebrity. Celebrities may experience more insomnia, migraines, and irritable-bowel syndrome. Celebrities are twice as likely to develop a serious alcohol problem.”
Poor celebritys. I feel bad for them!

a real live blogger post!!!

You may have noticed that I have jumped ship. If so, you are wise. In case you are either offended or confused here are the reasons for my ship jumpage:
1) LJ is just too emo for me. I’m sorry.
2) I managed to set up this pretty pretty blog in my lunch break. Which is just too easy. Really it is just more convenient.
3) I think “blog” is a cooler word than “journal.”
4) Pictures!
So that’s that. Maybe if I have a breakup I will post that on LJ. But for now my spinsterhood seems permanently in place (un oh, LJ moment MAYDAY MAYDAY). Here is the new doubly cool blog.
(Side note: blog is not in the spell checker. This should be remedied)
The blog begins now. (I promise there won’t be two many of these little tangents)
I think I am going to start stalking Hamish. I mean, I already inadvertently am, first seeing him in fantastic four and now in a play we took the kiddies too. I think the world is giving me a sign. (That I should be a psycho.)
I will not talk about the kiddies (specific kiddies anyway) because anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law. Except that I heard them plotting this morning. I am to the point where I want to find the contracts that they signed and show them to them. Be like “you could have backed out of it before you signed it if you didn’t like the rules so much.” Whateva.
Most of my joy these days comes from sitting in the hall after curfew waiting for them to try to sneak out of their rooms. It actually is incredibly entertaining. The expressions on their faces are priceless, It makes me giggle giggle giggle.
(Wow. When did I become a bad person?)
Also I have the best fellow RA’s ever! (Was that too LJ?) We have taken to drinking apple juice and watching Disney flicks while the young uns run amuck.
I think a lot, though, about Jeff, the young lad who was so corrupted in my house, and how if circumstances were slightly different it could be Jeff who’s party I was busting up. Jeff who I caught sneaking out. Jeff who I had to punish (and not in a sexy way).
::Turmoil::
(is inner turmoil LJ?)
But, in case you are wondering, I am returning the city of zoo from august 7th or 8th to the 16th. Bebe, Agnes, Stella, I expect a party. And after that SUFJAN on the 19th. Be jealous.

Me and the evil hot dog of death