Fly through the air with the greatest of ease.

Last weekend I went down to the Spiegeltent to see my friend Meryl. The Spiegeltent is sort of a Weimar-esque-cabaret-club-circus thing down at the seaport. Its quite cool though a bit expensive which is why it was nice to go see Meryl who works there and get in for free.
I am totally a sucker for acrobats. I watch them with more fear than excitement, but I love it. And I totally wish I could do it.
I like to think, as I am watching acrobats, that in slightly different circumstances I could TOTALLY do that. That in a past life I was totally a gymnast at Moulin Rouge.
Except, when I actually think about it if I was a character in Moulin Rouge I would not be Satine.
I would be Ewen MacGregor.
Sitting in a corner. Writing. Being boring. And emo.

All goys look the same.

So, you know that steryotype that all asians look alike?* Well, last winter my parents went to go see the departed which stars Leo Decaprio and Matt Damon. My parents showed up 10 minites late and after about an hour my dad leans over to my mom and goes "isn't this about two guys? when are they going to introduce the other character?"
To which my mom replyed "all goys do not look the same."
Well I feel that way about these women.
This:

Looks exactly like this:

Who looks exactly like this:

Does this not bother any one else? They could be tripplets. How do three identical looking people get work in hollywood?

In case you ALSO can't tell them appart the first is that gossip girl chick, the second is grey's anatomy and the third is Kate Hudson.

*see, this post is funny because the Departed is a remake of an asian movie. Get it?

The best woman on television

So. Sometimes I think I'm 100% straight. But then I see Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica, and Im like god damn it I love you, woman.

And now she is on Bionic Woman and that is the ONLY reason why I will watch. For starbuck.

This is totally the beginning of the end of the world.

And now—all the fleet hounds, the staunch mastiffs, the loyal shepherds, the dancing toys, the fumbling puppies, pets on silk pillows, workers plodding at their tasks, the special ones you loved the best, those of ours we still miss—all the good dogs, goodbye, until on some brighter day, in some fairer place you run out again to greet us.

From Dogs and People, 1954
by George and Helen Papashvily

Do you recognize this person?

Yeah. Neither did I.
Turns out she is Gail, Oprah's best friend and I would have never known this had she not come into work today trailing a massive camera crew and entorage.
Of course she does this on the day that we all decided to wear funky hats to work instead of our normal baseball caps.
So if you watch Oprah, I may be in a segment about Saks. I'll be the one in the purple hat looking uncomfortable.

Be Prepaired

Asher (11:09:53 PM): watch out for zombies
Me (11:10:24 PM): what zombies
Asher(11:10:52 PM): the ones on the tv
Me (11:11:30 PM): hmmmm?
Asher (11:11:48 PM): isnt that shaun of the dead?
Me (11:11:46 PM): I dont know what you are talking about
Me (11:11:50 PM): there are no zombies here
Me (11:11:54 PM): nooooo zombies
Me (11:11:55 PM): ever
Me (11:12:02 PM): (yes)
Asher (11:12:09 PM): we live in a zombie free zone?
Me (11:12:12 PM): I certainly hopeso
Asher (11:12:24 PM): i dunno
Asher (11:12:28 PM): this guy bit me on the way home
Me (11:12:27 PM): NOT FUNNY
Asher (11:13:33 PM): oh i dont feel so good
Watched Shaun of the Dead tonight instead of doing any sort of prep for the first day of school. Then I decided to scope out the new apartment to see how zombie proof it was. (Also I needed to threaten Asher with decapitation because he was wandering around the apartment moaning all dead like (NOT FUNNY)). I decided that it is decently zombie proof provided we find a way to take out the stairs, it being on the second floor and all. Plus we have nice heavy things like a foosball table to barricade the door.
Then Jesse had the brilliant idea of boring a hole in the floor the reach the deli (we live above a deli) which, with luck, would still have the gate down so it would be super secure. We could live like that for weeks until order is restored. The only problem is, we don’t have a fire ax to make said hole. To which I replied:
Me: is it crazy if I actually think we should have a fire ax around, just in case of, you know…fires…
Jesse:…no. We’d just have to find a way to lock it up so we couldn’t touch it when we’re drunk.
Me: Oh I wouldn’t touch it if I was drunk.
Jessie: (looks shify-eyed, like there is a secret in his past, something that will come into play in the third act)
Me: would you?
Jesse: (silence, eye shifty-ness)
Me: Okay. The fire ax is staying in my room then.
So yes, incase of zombie apocalypse come to Greenpoint, Brooklyn (insert racist polish joke here). I promise me and my fire ax will protect you. Or decapitate you. Same thing, really.