The poem I performed in South Africa

In may
the lilacs bloom so sticky sweet
plucked for tea
served to small children falling in love
so sweet
June
graduation gowns
hats turn to helmets
tassels to tasers
books to bullets
university education promised
R
O
T
C
and before you know it you are so far away from me
were then too
when we watched those towers fall
hands clasped together
did not bind us
you wanted revenge
revenge for the
2945 killed
and as the numbers of solders dead clicks ever closer to that mark
you write me
dear
I love you
Dear
its hot
dear
I’ve never felt so alive
dear
in my life
not even in my arms
or between my thighs
or kissing me in the cool may rain
as lilac petals rained down
down to the depths of sandy hell
and
your blood is on your hands
and
my blood is on our sheets
and
did you know I saved them
those sheets
hold them close
a memory of our love
so alive
like I saved a tea pot full of lilac tea
that I made the day you went away
convinced that you’d be back in time to drink it
finally throwing it out when the stench was too much to bear
like I saved your laundry
letters
boots
like I would record your phone calls if I could
save your sex in a bottle if I could.

In July they fly the bodies to Rammstein air force base in western Germany
before bringing them back home
home to where you kissed me
told me you loved me
promised me
for ever and ever
home to the ground you will not be a part of
because you asked to be cremated