I think I have a Problem

I have now worked at my desk job for one month. That’s four whole weeks, guys! Lets take an inventory into how I have made the space my own.
- Chicken on the Computer desktop (I LOVE CHICKENS)
- Aveno Hand Lotion.(Lavender Scented!)
- Altoides (Necessary)
- Extra pair of shoes (so I can wear sneakers on the subway but look classy at work)
- Green Tea (I mean its me)
- Earl Gray Tea (I really love tea)
- Ginger Tea (I really REALLY love tea)
- Sugar packets (for the tea)
- Clif bars (in case I get hungry)
- Box of Kudos (…in case I get hungry)
- Bag of Chocolate mint milanos (wait, isn’t there a vending machine like 20 feet from your desk?)
- Box of CheeseIts (Its 100 feet away! That’s really far.)
- Gummy worms (That’s not far! And isn’t it in a kitchen that has FREE TEA)
- Oreo Snack Cakes (Its Lipton tea Lipton sucks. And what if I don’t have change for the vending machine? What then? I’ll have to ask for an advance.)
- Assorted Dumdums and other candy stolen from banks and doctors (OMG YOU ARE SUCH A PACKRAT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?)